Anything but that...

We've all heard Miley Cyrus sing about 'The Climb' (unless your head has been in the sand for a year). You've heard it, but have you thought about it? Life is a long hike...lots of climbing the mountains, just to get to the top, enjoy the view ever so briefly, and then realize your peak is overshadowed by an even bigger mountain waiting to be scaled.

Though I am a girly-girl, I love to hike. I relish the feel, the smell, almost (not the bugs) everything about being outside. However, I have never, never wanted to be a mountain climber. Hanging on a rope, trying to get these short arms and legs up into the high crevices, clinging to loose rocks for dear life...maybe I don't know what I'm missing, but it doesn't appeal to me in the least. You spend all that time sweating it out, wanting to give up, scratching your knees, breaking nails, just to see a view you could way more easily see from an airplane.

But, unfortunately for our 'I want it now' human nature, that's a lot like life. We spend the majority of our years waiting. Waiting to get our driver's license, waiting to graduate high school, waiting to get a career, waiting to meet 'the one,' waiting to have kids, waiting to retire. Whew! That's a lot of waiting. Every time you get to the top of your mountain, there's something else to 'wait' for. It dawned on me as I was thinking about this, that the LIFE is in the waiting. The view that we crave so much is brief, and then we start sweating and climbing again.

My life lately has been all about waiting. I called one of my confidantes earlier this week and cried to her, 'how long do I have to wait?!' 'When have I waited enough?!' I pray every day for God to show me where to go, what to do, to give me a yes, or even a no - just a sign or direction. Just no more waiting, anything but that!

But we know that when we are the weakest that's when He's the strongest. In this time of waiting in my life, He's been showing me some things. If we're not happy in the waiting, we will not be happy when we get whatever it is that we've been waiting for. No job or significant other or goal reached will do more for us than has already been done. We are to be content in all circumstances because Jesus has already given us all we could ever need. Even in the waiting. Especially in the waiting.

God uses these waiting periods to develop our perseverance, which leads to character, that blossoms into hope. It's only when we are in the fire, the hottest, most uncomfortable part, that we are soft enough to be molded into what we were made to be. The Bible says He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver (Mal. 3:3). He may hold us in that uncomfortable position, but He will never take His eyes off of his, will never drop us in the flames to be devoured. It's in that waiting that He will teach and grow us.

For me, this waiting has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through. But, I've never been closer with God. I would give up anything not to have wait anymore. Anything but that. This new level of intimacy with God is worth the wait.

A friend told me about this poem and I love it. Maybe you will too! :)

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

The Heart of the Matter

Do you ever find that you've become cynical about people? That, instead of expecting the best in others, you expect them to let you down? I didn't realize how jaded my thinking had become until I met someone who surprised me - in a good way. This weekend my cousin, who I haven't seen in at least 15 years, stayed at our house. When we first picked him up from the military base, Ft. Gordon, he seemed like the average 21-year-old guy. Or, at least, the average s-l-o-w talllkkkkiiinnn Alabama country boy.

Of course, I asked him a million questions about life on the military base. And as I would cringe thinking being under the 24/7 control he and his bunk-mates are under, he only had a good attitude. He had joy no matter that he was painting barracks, running in the rain, or doing his yard duties. He kept saying that He felt like he was called to be an army chaplain and that if God wanted him there, he knew God would take care of him every minute. Still, this wasn't what got to me...

He wasn't preachy. He wasn't in your face. He was humble, he was straight up. He would answer questions by saying, 'God says...' but it wasn't pretentious or judgmental, it was real. Still, this wasn't what got to me...

If you know me well at all, you know that I ask lots of questions. My curiosity combined with the fact that I hadn't seen this cousin in more than a decade and the poor kid was probably wondering if I was going to ask how he brushes his teeth or something. Even though I know guys aren't always big on gushing about their love lives, I had to ask about his girlfriend.

Me: "So how'd you meet?"
Cousin: "I met her in school. She was friends with my ex-girlfriend."
Me: "Hmmm...interesting. Does your Mom like her?"
Cuz: "She doesn't really know her, but she worries a little about how I would take care of her in the future."
Me: "Oh...is she high maintenance or something?"
Cousin: "No. She's in a wheel chair for life. She has spinal bifida."
Me: "Oh...wow...is that hard for you?"
Cousin: "Well, people wonder how we could have a future together, but I think I could take care of her, especially through the Army. And I don't really care about how she looks, the physical part. I care more about what kind of character she has, and if she's really living for God."
Me: That shut me up.

We were in the car on the way home from dinner, so I was quiet for awhile as I let that sink in. That God looks at the heart (Gal. 2:6,7)of a person was something I'd studied just this past week in my quiet times. I had been in prayer already this week, asking God to help me value hearts more than anything else. I'd been thinking that I was doing a good job of it...until this. Conviction hit me like a hammer. Would I be willing to overlook the physical that much? Would I follow God if that's where He led me? And that's what got to me. This sweet Alabama boy was simply being a disciple to the core. Valuing what God values.

In two weeks, my cousin (Derek McReynolds) is being deployed to Korea for a year. He's going with a great attitude, a willingness to serve, and a readiness to respond to God. I know he's appreciate it if you sent your prayers with him, too.