Tuesday, March 8, 2011

FAT Tuesday

Is. it. ever!!

Eggs and canadian bacon. Handful of Cheez-Its. Marshmallow puff. Fried chicken sandwich and french fries (dipped, OF COURSE, in rotating cups of honey mustard, ranch, and ketchup). Caramel Cadbury egg. Teriyaki chicken sub.

Whew!

You thought it was New Orleans, but FAT Tuesday is really celebrated in Abbeville, SC! What they forgot to mention about this horribly fun little holiday is what comes after...the self-loathing and guilt. WHY did I eat that?!

Ironically...At work we've started having a 15-minute Bible study every Monday morning before the business opens. We're doing fruits of the spirit and I was asked to lead our first devotion. Naturally, I chose the one I struggle with the most: self-control.

Let me back up a few years and paint you a full picture of my WAR little problem with this little fruit. About 15 Christmases ago, my grandma baked a pan of caramel swirl brownies I can STILL smell them for the family. While everyone else was unwrapping presents, I snuck into the kitchen and ATE THE ENTIRE PAN. Crunchy corner brownie, gooey middle brownie, big chunks still-stuck-to-the-pan brownie...the ENTIRE pan! I remember thinking, "this is SO GOOD. Just ONE more, and then I'll stop." But, I didn't. I couldn't. And then I felt it. The nausea. I got sick and felt awful for the rest of the night. But, I could. not. stop. And this is one reason you will never see me drinking or smoking...this teensy little problem I have with self-control and knowing when to stop with "too much of a good thing."

I grew up in a non-denominational church. I'd never heard of lent. In a crowded elevator at USC, I (embarassed for her) told a girl, "Umm, you have a little black smudge on your forehead." And (embarassed for me) she said, "Yeah, I know," and rolled her eyes. My friend elbowed me and made a mortified face and informed me when we got off the elevator that it was part of her religious celebration of Ash Wednesday. This was my introduction to all things Lent.

Fast forward to last week's devotion on self-control, and I readily confess that after "preaching" on this subject...I struggled mightily with it all week! Funny how that happens! Some of my co-workers celebrate lent and as they've talked about it, I really felt convicted that I should fast something this year, too. I think this will be a good time to give something up for God, not just for me and because "it's bad for me." <--- That argument obviously does no good with my feeble stubborn brain. If I'm going to do it, I have to know I'm doing it for Him, or I'll fall flat on my face. Again. So, on this FAT TUESDAY, I'm promising God (and you) that I will not eat any sweets (fruits don't count) for the next 40 days. If you see me, feel free to ask me if I've had anything sweet to eat. If I snap your head off, you'll know that I'm going through withdrawals and the answer is no! Hopefully, I won't have anymore FAT Tuesdays for awhile!